How do you go about doing this? Well, lets see how we can correct wordiness. The book The Least You Should Know About English is the perfect "go to" book for finding information about wordiness.
There are several examples of wordiness that we can learn from:
1. Don't say something in ten words when five can do.
"At the present time" should be "at present" or "now"
"In this day and age" should be "today"
2. Don't say something twice.
"in the month of June" June is a month so it should be "in July"
"8:00 am in the morning" should be "8 am"
"in my personal opinion" should be "my opinion"
3. Don't use expressions that add nothing to the meaning of the sentence.
"The fact of the matter is that she is tired." should be "She is tired."
Here are more examples of wordiness:
Wordy Writing Concise Writing
at that point in time then
there is no doubt but no doubt
he is a person who he
a person who is honest an honest person
there are many boys who many boys
he was there in person he was there
personally I think I think
my father he my father
surrounded on all sides surrounded
during the winter months during the winter
brown in color brown
refer back refer
repeat again repeat
two different kinds two kinds
free complimentary copy complimentary copy
free gift gift
very unique unique
past history history
end result result
and etc. etc.
usual custom custom
new innovation innovation
the field of electronics electronics
no money at all no money
If you'd like to take look at some practice sentences, see if you can edit correctly for wordiness.
1. It seems to that me that many of us use many more words than we really need in our writing.
2. It is interesting to note that the kiwi bird, which is found in New Zealand, sleeps 20 hours out of the 24 hours every day.
3. There are going to be several ideas of importance that will be presented and discussed.
4. He is a man who does as much work on his vacation as he does when he is at his regular job.
5. My past experience has made me convinced of the fact that one has to be constantly on the lookout for new opportunities in investing money.
If you'd like, please write your corrections in the comments below. I look forward to seeing your answers.
Can you think of more wordiness phrases and how to make them more concise?