Taming the Inner Critic

Rejection.

 It's the hardest part about being a writer, isn't it?

Life, in general, really.

If life and enough outer critics like (agents, editors, publishers, uncle Sal, etc,) aren't enough, our inner critic is more unpleasant than any of them.

What is your inner critic? It's that little voice in your head or that tight feeling in your throat or stomach, that seems intent on convincing you that what you're writing couldn't possibly succeed or that you're possibly a fraud who's going to be found out any second.

When you're manuscript is rejected, it could be for any number of reasons:

• it could be too similar to another project they're working on
• the company could be having financial problems
• there just isn't a good match

Rejections are just someone's opinion. Don't let them get you down. Many of our most famous authors have been rejected. Ask Stephen King about his rejection for Carrie. I believe it read something like this, "We are not interested in science fiction which deals with negative utopias. They do not sell." Uh huh. And, who got the big bucks for selling the book and the movie rights and the TV and ...?

It's pretty easy to ignore all those outer critics. I know it's more difficult to ignore the inner critic. That's what we're about to do here. We're going to tame that Inner Critic.

The Inner Critic or that Inner Voice judges everything, doesn't it? It takes on many forms: self doubt, excuses, and fear.

We're going to knock that ol' Inner Critic for a loop.

First, Identify Your Inner Critic
The inner critic takes on many forms: a remembered voice, a visualization of failure, a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, and so on. Think about the form it takes for you. If you're not sure, think about a writing related task and then identify the feeling you get when you feel the inner critic coming upon you.

Decide What You Want
Sure, you'd like to get rid of the inner critic, right? However, don't move so fast. That critic does work in a positive way as well. It helps you make an initial decision and then gives you useful, constructive feedback as you proceed. Unfortunately, most inner critics continue to judge and keep criticizing or questioning your decisions.

So, form a statement describing the relationship you want with your inner critic. At this point, you may want to change the name from "inner critic" to "inner guide" to help you start thinking in a different way. For example, your statement might be, "I want my inner guide to be a friendly, constructive source of positive as well as negative feedback." Think about what it would be like if your inner guide acted in such a way.

Bring it into View
Imagine where your inner critic is located. Your head? Your heart? Your stomach? Your shoulder? Wherever it is, bring it into view or focus by picturing it going from its usual position to a few feet in front of you. Adjust the distance until it's comfortable for you. What does your inner critic look like?Don't worry if you don't get an image right away, that's okay. Take a deep breath, let it out, and let your imagination loose. Don't dismiss any images.

Does perceiving your inner critic in this way affect how you feel about it? Are you aware of any new aspects than you were before? Does it seem to have less power than it did before you imagined it with a true image?

Find the Good Intention
Most inner critics have a positive intention. It's usually trying to save you from criticism or disappointment. Do you know what your inner critic is trying to do for you?

Find an Alternative
What can you do to more appropriately attain that positive intention? Do you have a trusted friend who can look over your manuscript before submitting it?

Experiment
When your inner critic expresses itself, how does it make you feel? Do you relate to it as if you were a child relating to a stern adult? If so, consciously look at your inner critic and listen as the adult you are. Does that change have any affect on you?

You can adjust changing the image or the sound of your inner critic.

Reform and Practice
After some practice and experimenting, you may decide you like a particular form for your inner critic (inner guide).  They've settled in to becoming a helpful partner rather than a hinderance.

If your inner critic ever reverts back to its old self, you can always do a 30 second review of what we've learned here to reformat your inner guide and have it back to speeding your progress rather than holding you back.

Did this help with taming your Inner Critic?

Source:
Your Writing Coach by Jurgen Wolff

Are You Tired of Hearing About Goals?

It’s all around us. You can’t open your e-mail without someone sending you something about setting a goal.

It can be losing weight.

Gaining weight.

Stop smoking.

Get a job.

Setting Blogging Goals.

Setting Parenting Goals.

Learn how to unclutter your life with these goals.

Argh!

I’m over it. Totally. Absolutely. Beyond any doubt. I’m over it.

I am bombarded on a daily basis with e-mails telling me I’m too fat, too skinny (Ha!), to unorganized, too lenient, too whatever, and I need to call a halt.

Now.

What about you? Are you tired of hearing about all the goals we must set for ourselves this year? Or are you one of the ones who is sending out messages to your followers, telling them to set goals. They must set goals. You must set goals.

Argh!

Maybe it’s because I just had a Bipolar episode recently, and I’m still sensitive and fragile from it. It was a scary episode. I heard some news that actually triggered an episode. It lasted nearly a week, and I’m still not quite over it. I haven’t gained all my mental and emotional strength back yet. I was inconsolable. Totally. And what was worse, the bad voices came back and were screaming at me that I was worthless, I had no value, I was a mistake, and I had no purpose in planning a business.  This, while I’m trying to get Your Writing Coach off the ground. 

It was devastating. And, worse? Could there really be a worse? Yes, there can. My doctor prescribed medication to get rid of the voices. I was to take it three times a day. That first day, I began having reactions to it. Not the right kind either. I had uncontrollable limb flailing. Yep, arms and legs flailing about with no control. It was about the scariest moment I’ve ever had. I had no control over what my hands, arms, and legs were going to do.

I e-mailed my psychiatrist and told him about the severe reactions and he had me stop the medication immediately. Whoa. After I stopped taking it, it was like a miracle. The reactions stopped as well.

Amazing.

So, that could be the reason I’m so sensitive to being bombarded with something over and over again.

So, I apologize to anyone I may have offended when I said I wanted you stop sending out your goal messages.

It’s not you. It’s me.

Ha. We’ve heard that line before, eh? Any relationship that went over the giant falls has had someone say that to the other person.

In this case, I think it really is me. And, please, don’t break up with me.  I still want you as a reader and you can send me anything you want and I’ll enjoy it.

I wanted to be totally honest with you about how I felt and the reasons behind it. I don’t ever want to hide having Bipolar Disorder from anyone. It’s something I live with and deal with and take medication for to control it.

Most of the time I am stable and or somewhat stable. I haven’t had such a serious episode like the one I recently had since March of last year. Pretty good track record for me.

If it weren’t for the help of my immediate support team, I wouldn’t have come out of it as quickly (yeah a week is pretty quick) and with as little damage as I did.

Keeping up with all my blogs and projects is very important to me. I try to stay at least one week ahead of my blogs so I have some leeway. I used to be two or three weeks ahead, but the holidays messed that up. I have to catch up again.

To me, blogging is very important. I need the outlet. I want to give important writing information to you, my readers. Today was supposed to be a Writing Tip, however that kind of messed up with me ranting about goals.

But, I think we can still turn it over into a tip about writing. Don’t be less than you are when it comes to your writing. Be as authentic as you can be. You have to be true to yourself, above all else. So, that’s my writing tip for you today. Find your voice, find your authentic self, and write as real as you can for the real person you are. Don’t hide from your reality. Be fair and truthful. Let the you that is most genuine shine through, always.

Image credit: markusgann / 123RF Stock Photo

Writer Turned Architect - Designing Your Perfect Workshop

Let's take off our writers' caps and put pencil behind your ear and grab a tape measurer. We are going to build us the "perfect" writers' workshop.

For better understanding, we are talking about fiction writing. Ok, now that we got that out of the way, resume.

Is there such a thing as a "Perfect Workshop?" Let's start with that, shall we?

I think so. I think if we held a consortium and asked writers of various stages in their writing career what the entities they felt needed to be in a workshop of their choice, we could build not one, or two, but many "perfect" workshops.

So, let's begin at the beginning. If you were a beginner writer (or those who aren't and can look back and say "hey, I wish someone asked me that question!") what topic or topics would you like to be taught?

What is most important to you when developing your book or writing?

•   Characters
•   Plot
•   Point of View
•   Description
•   Dialogue
•   Setting and Pacing
•   Voice
•   Theme
•   Revision/Editing
•   Business of Writing (remember, this can be a WHOLE other group of workshops)

Look at the list I just created above. We could create separate workshops on each topic. Don't you think?

Okay, Let's take it a bit deeper.

Of these topics, what is most important to learn? Tell me. I really want to know.

Would you like hand-outs that the instructor would actually go over with you?

Would you like hands-on writing exercises where you could be brave enough to read yours to the group and possibly receive feedback? Would you like feedback from the other members of the group? Would you like feedback from the instructor?

How many people would you feel comfortable in a workshop style setting? 5? 10? 20?

I know, some of you are raising your hands in the background. I see you. Yes, I know what you're going to ask. What about critique groups? That's a great point.

Would you be interested in a critique group? Would you want to meet with writers of various calibers and work on pieces and have them read and critiqued by others?

I know, it's a bit off the topic of workshops, but that person in the back was waving their hand so wildly I had to pick on him, or else he might have fallen off his seat.

Let's get back to workshops.

Could you describe your perfect workshop to me in the comments below?

We're not talking price, location, or anything like that. If all those outside influences were met, and we just talked about you designing the subject, what would it entail?

So, tell me, at what level do you see yourself as a writer?

• Just beginning, no publications
• Just finishing with first book
• Looking to publish first book
• first book published, how to top it with a second?
• Advanced writer, several books under my belt, but something is missing
• Uber Writer. I know it all. Well I thought I did, until my books stopped selling and I can't find anything else to write about

So, with your level of writing in mind, describe the perfect workshop for you in the comments below. Can you do that for me?

Thanks.

Image Credit: vectorart / 123RF Stock Photo

Friday Five Minute Exercise - Respect

1. Set your clocks/timers for Five (5) Minutes.

2. Write about Respect. How do you deal with people who do not respect your views? Is your writing a voice for views that will not be heard by people with closed ears and minds? Do you think integrity and respect are related? How does your writing suffer or improve as your looking glass reflects the respect of others?  Get into as much detail as you can for the next five minutes.

3. Ready?

4. Go.

5. Finished? Review and be amazed.

I hope you had fun. Come back next Friday for a new writing prompt.

Was this exercise helpful?

Did you succeed with this writing exercise? Was it helpful? Were you able to find and write about your own respect and views while you write? Were you able to define how integrity and the ability to write with respect are reflective? Does your writing suffer or improve based on respect?

Why or Why Not?

Friday Five Minute Exercise - Your Own Voice

1. Set your clocks/timers for Five (5) Minutes.

2. Write in your own voice. Try to discover your own voice by writing about passionate topics. Do not worry about the eyes and minds of the world. Only write what you know to be true in your heart and soul. Use the voice (the gift) that was bestowed upon you. Get into as much detail as you can for the next five minutes.

3. Ready?

4. Go.

5. Finished? Review and be amazed.

I hope you had fun. Come back next Friday for a new writing prompt.

Was this exercise helpful?

Did you succeed with this writing exercise? Was it helpful? Were you able to find and write in your own voice?

Why or Why Not?

Active vs. Passive Verbs

When writing fiction, you will want to use active verbs as much as possible. It helps keep the story active and the reader engaged.

Do you know the difference between "active" and "passive" verbs?

Well, don't worry, we're going to discuss them here.

In ACTIVE sentences, the thing doing the action is the subject of the sentence and the thing receiving the action is the object.

For example: Todd threw the ball to Jane.

Thing doing action = Todd
Verb = threw
Thing receiving action = ball

In PASSIVE sentences, the thing receiving the action is the subject of the sentence and the thing doing the action is usually included near the end of the sentence. You might use the passive form if you think that the thing receiving the action is more important or should be emphasized. You might also want to use the passive form if you do not know who is doing the action of if you do not want to mention who is doing the action.

For example: The ball was thrown by Todd.

Thing receiving the action = ball
Passive verb = was thrown
Thing doing action = Todd

This link has a very good example of how to use passive or active voice, how to change to either, and why.

If you'd like to take a quiz and determine active or passive in a variety of sentences click here.

Your mission today, if you choose to follow it, is to take a passage of your own writing and revise all the verbs in it. Try to make as many active sentences as possible in order to create a more dynamic section of writing.

If you want, you can post your pieces here in the comments.

If you still have questions, let me know and we'll clear them up for you.